Word Designer

Remember that Friends episode when Joey goes to an audition, but has to pee so badly? So when Joey gets there late, no one listens to him that he has to use the bathroom first, so he has to act in this squirmy, awkward, short-beat attitude that gets him the part. And they want him to act like that every time, so Joey stocks up on liquids every time he has rehearsal.

I thought of that because I started this post having to pee. Emergency. And of course I’d have let myself use the bathroom, IF I COULD HAVE.  Someone was in there.  Yes, I know, I could have knocked.  But I didn’t want to make conversation. I just wanted to go.  Yes, I know, all I had to do was say “excuse me, gotta go,” or even just “sqooze peez,” or “gotta go.” I didn’t even have to speak the whole word, just get the point across. But to open my mouth and say these things, is not as easy as it sounds.  You just have to wake up in my mind, to get it, I guess.

And anyway, I thought it would better my writing, like for Joey.  Ok, I know it didn’t really do anything special, but I was giving it a shot.  Did I end up using the bathroom? Of course!  The minute I heard the nose blow in the dining room, I shot out into the bathroom.  Kidneys first!

That reminds me of something.  Did you know there is a Environmentalist lobbying organization called Earth First! With an exclamation mark in the name? I took an envi law class in college; I loved that class. I loved the professor and the stories he told in class. The subject matter- not so much. But he was from Wisconsin, and had many silly tidbits about cheese, windmills, and the trouble he used to cause when he was a kid. And he would give interesting facts on environmental law, I guess. The best day was when we were going over lobbyist and actionary groups. It was a very boring class, especially when forced to sit up front (he actually placed a college class alpabetically). And then all the sudden he yells Earth First! And everyone jumps. He smiles innocently.  Everyone tilts their head sideways in question. “What? That’s their name. Earth First!”  Good memory!

Along the same lines: my anthropology course.  This was a class that had great potential. It sounded interesting in theory (Buried Treasure, hidden dragon or something) and in description.  The first day was awesome because we started out watching Indiana Jones.  And then this professor (he is famous, I think), leaps in with Indiana Jones apparel on, carrying a knife and everyone gets excited. Oooh what are we doing this semester?! But the class turned out to be naptime. It was really boring. The subject matter was boring, the professor was boring and I was bored.  I forgot my point. Oh! The introductory course before that, was not boring. This class taught about African tribes and their ways of like.  Like the: Kung! Also an exclamation pointed word. But not yelled. It is not even pronounced kung, as in “rhymes with” hung or bung. The words must come from your throat in a clicking sound like this “Click-Kung” combined (”Rachel, what are you doing??).  So that was cool. And we also learned about this semen belt in New Guinea. This tribe had a rite of passage ceremony turning boys into men (not so similar to the Bar Mitzvah, I have to say). The boys would drink semen of the older men and there would be some music and dancing and other activities, and voila “Click-Jim, today you have become a man.”

I am sure it was probably very different.  And I don’t think they do it anymore. I think our New World people brought technology and literacy and burger king over there and they varied their ways.

So enough about me, how are you? Still want to know what I am thinking? I am tired and have to pee again. And I have to get ready for work! Work!

Big stadium, but smaller than what I am used to. The guy who’s name was on my shirt played outfield (either center or right). When the Brewer’s would go for their first bat of the game, or when someone hits a homerun, the mascot slides down this 1-stadium story long slide. In midair! And then fireworks go off. In daylight!

I spent a lot of time trying to forget baseball rules and facts that my brother etched into my head when I was a kid. It was never girly enough and I didn’t like watching baseball on TV. So watching this game, I had to ask a lot of questions, not remembering anything.

Around the 4th inning, Melinda took me for my first brat. When we got up, I naturally grabbed my t-shirt bag with my t-shirt in it, to take with me. I guess it was the Queens in me. Cannot leave things unattended, even though people in my group were still sitting there. When I asked Nate and Craig to watch it for me, they laughed. No they continued laughing that I picked up the bag to take in the first place. But anyway, that’s the way it is.

So inside the stadium, I picked up my first brat, first non-Zurich pork brat and put mustard, ketchup, and special sauce (??) on it. Then went over to the beer ladies and I very intelligently asked for “Miller Light Draft.” Something I can laugh at now. The confused girl got even more confused when I asked her, and I got impatient and embarrassed. So then I pointed, like a foreigner, at my Light Draft beer in a Miller Genuine Draft container. That is what you get when you see commercials only for Miller Light. And don’t care to pay attention. You think the whole company is called Miller Light.

Ok I am done working off my embarrassment. Good beer anyway, I liked it enough to order it on purpose.

We sat down and ate what reminded me of eating a penis, but at least the secret sauce on it was good. By this time, the game began to get boring and was only watching about 30% of the game. I spent the rest of it eating peanuts, conversing with the 3 people I was with, gossiping with Melinda about the half naked Miller cheerleaders milling around, watching the crazy fans, locating the mascot, and who knows what else.

I found out that Craig would be moving to British Columbia, Canada at the end of the summer and was teaching himself French from a book. I am not sure why, since they speak English there, but who am I to judge. So I took to teaching him the correct pronunciation of words that you can only get from hearing it. As if I was an expert (I should be since I studied the language for six years). But by that time I was a little buzzed from my Miller Light Draft that I called Canada “Canadia.” I’ve been calling it that as a joke for so long that I forgot the right way to say it. Oops!

The section we sat in was called the party section. No one would warn me what it was ahead of time, so I got a surprise (although I think it was because they did not know what to expect either). During some inning change, the Miller half naked girls ran into our section shooting streamers and balloons everywhere. Everyone in the party section cheered and yelled for the cameras. Then they shot out t-shirts, and other strange paraphernalia (like I got in the parking lot). One of the guys caught a t-shirt and gave me it. That was nice.

The game got really boring after that since the Brewer’s were losing. The four of us left and met Jillian at the Fridays within the stadium. That place was really cool; it had floor to ceiling windows, so you can watch the game. Almost better than having outside seats, because you are so close to the field.

We had some more beer, and the others had some more brat as well. Jillian’s mom asked me if I liked baseball. I told her honestly no, but I had a lot of fun. I don’t think she liked that answer. Baseball fans just don’t understand.

Eventually the game ended and we decided to leave. One of the Brewer player’s was autographing in Fridays and Craig really wanted his signature. So we all waited on this line. But he stopped signing when we got right up to the guy. How rude.

Left the stadium and walked the long walk back to the car. Separated from Jillian’s gang and I started to get harassed by different crazy drunken men. This very drunk sketchy man with a beard wanted to help me carry my bag. He followed us, but I gave him a very firm “No,” and I refused to look. And we walked faster to the car. Some of the other drunken words from the other brilliant post-tailgaters were “hey hot-loins,” and “what’d ya get from the fan zone?” We ran into the car. I was a little shaky. Then we drove home, through the drunken drivers on the road and the silence.

We arrived at Melinda’s apartment exhausted. Before bed, we watched the movie Rent. She went to bed half way through. I stayed up really late watching it. Then I went to bed and slept a really deep sleep.

I’m on a new diet today. Starting today.

Today’s diet will consist of some eggs, cereal, banana, and some undisclosed meal for dinner. And then, I am cutting out ice cream, sugar and complaints. Yes, complaints. They’re so bad for you!

Don’t take this as a complaint, but I’ve been complaining so much lately. If someone complains that I am complaining too much, I start venting to someone else. And not everyone wants to hear what I have to say. Its an ineffective means of complaining.

So as of this morning, August 24, 2006 starting 7:30 am Thursday I am complain-free. Everything is going to be perpetually peachy. I am happy to be awake and even though I am exhausted, that is a good thing. And I can’t wait to go to work! I even know what I am going to wear today (my Thursday outfit of course).

I have to tell you something silly that I did. You will laugh and think “Rachelism.”

Ok, so my parents are on vacation, and I am left to my own means.  I haven’t cooked very much, or really just taken care of household tasks since I moved in with them (my mom is that nice). And so, on the last day alone, I decided I want hardboiled eggs.

When Dave visited me, he and I declared two eggs, that were sitting next to the blue egg in the tray, must be hardboiled; why else would they be there.  So when he left, and I wanted hard boiled eggs, I took them out.  I tapped one gently against a bowl and somehow ended up peeling the shell just a peak, so I could see the egg amionic fluid floating around.  And I said, “Oops! Must be the one that needs to be cooked.”  Then I cracked the “hard-boiled” one, which broke, unexpectedly, all over.  Just imagine the scene.

But its not over.

Because I kept the first egg. I refrigerated it in a baggie.  I don’t know if for experimentation, or if I thought I really could do something with it.

Today, I decided I would try again, and make egg salad for lunch. So I stuck the egg in with another egg, and started the hard boil process.  15 minutes later, while doing this post, I smell eggs. You shouldn’t smell eggs while just boiling them.

Rushed to the kitchen, looked into the pot and what do I see?  Of course the egg exploded with the hole opened and the inerds juiced all the way out into the pot.  Spaghettis of egg yolk streamed all over. And also what I swear was a piece of a chick’s body was floating around. Eww!

I am not going to describe the clean up or what I did after, because its just silly. I feel silly.

The Milwaukee Brewer’s would be playing the Chicago Cubs. It was like the subway series for the Mid-West. The car-commute series. There was a big rivalry between fans, and so I expected huge crowds and major traffic before the stadium to park. Melinda was surprised to and tried to find out why there was no excessive line into the stadium parking lot, as if something was wrong. But no, just happened to be that way.

We parked our car way down in the back of a lot. We passed many tailgaters (an idea completely new to me) as we weaved through cars looking for her friend named Jillian. We finally located her and squeezed through some beer guzzler’s BBQ to get to her and her crowd.

So then, Melinda did the introductions. She introduced me to “Jillian, Jillian’s Mom, Jillian’s boyfriend and Jillian’s brother.” That was funny. Then they offered food and drink. Nate (Jillian’s boyfriend) grilled us some hotdogs . I had a beer and felt a little awkward as Melinda caught up with her friend. But then Craig (Jillian’s brother) wanted to discuss where I was from and decided that Queens (where I’m from) is much cooler then Long Island (where Melinda is from). Then all kinds of activity took place. We ate the hot dogs. These Miller Light people came over in Miller paraphernalia giving out Miller necklaces, key chains and shirts to people drinking their beer. I was not drinking Miller, but my party forced the girls to give me some goodies since I was visiting. That was really cool. Luckily, they gave me some real treasures. A blue beaded necklace with a rubber light-up circle detailing Miller and a key chain with a flip-flop were what they threw at me.

Tailgating is fun. It’s a lot of atmosphere and BBQ-ing, which you can’t like if you’re a vegetarian and you don’t drink beer. But it’s not just that. There is music blasting and people conversing about nothing. It’s light and easy to be there. And then you get to see silly things like people doing pushups in groups for Miller Light t-shirts.

We packed up and got ready to walk over to the stadium together. Melinda started to discuss the after-game. Mentioned that we were going to the Marquette bar downtown. Jillian’s whole party groaned and tried to convince us to go to Fridays for brat and beer. “Yeah, that’s all we do here Rachel, eat Brat and beer.” I looked at my watch and retorted, “It’s 5:30 – time for my Bratwurst fix. It’s Brat thirty.” And internally I was thinking, “Friday’s????????” But anyway, that was left alone and we walked under the highway to the stadium.

I got the chills as we walked up to the stadium. It’s a big building. Its many years older than Shea or Yankee stadium and it just looks pretty. There is a large, long brick building in front of me, with the words “Miller Park” tattooed in a huge sign on front. I took pictures as I was walking up to it. So excited. And very intelligently, as you can’t really snap pictures while walking, but that is beside the point. There was a very determined person on hand.

After picking up tickets, everyone split up to go to their seats. And Mel and I went to the “Fan Spot” or whatever its called – a huge souvenir store with baseball t-shirts in mass quantities. And after looking around, I found the cutest shirt to buy (a girlie fitted baseball T-shirt) and wear for the game. And we chose the player Jenkins (name on back), because I knew nothing about the team, and they didn’t have Melinda’s favorite player (he was off for an injury). I chose Jillian’s favorite instead. In typical Rachel fashion, I could not remember his name during the game.

Changed my shirt in the bathroom and ran to our seats as the National Anthem was sung. Nate and Craig were in the seats behind us. Jillian and her mom had season seats a few sections below. They were major Brewer fans.

Then we opened up the bag of peanuts, cracked the shells and threw them on the floor; now we were ready to watch the game.

I have all these irritations on my mind like little fruit flies.  They really are irrittating me.  Thats why I feel so grumpy.  Sorry. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

OK, so I decided at least to carry a textbook to and from work to  read. If my time is wasted by traveling, at least I can use it well. I am just pissy because its heavy and I don’t want to crease the book while its in my bag. But I guess I can deal with heavy for a little bit.  I only have to do this a few times a week.  And cut down on my pleasure reading. So I guess I can deal with it. I wonder if it’ll fit into my little purse. That thing holds everything. Kidding. That was funny just me to me, I know. Bad telling.

A little more is pissing me off too. I don’t understand, ok I go to the gym every day. I come home and have a pretty balanced meal. And then I decide to have fruit. And then dessert. I am not even hungry. I can’t even stop myself. I don’t need a snack every night! Especially when I am not hungry. Age old problem.  Usual issue with me.  I can’t even blame it on being alone here because when my parents are home they always want a dessert after dinner. Although that is easier to turn that down.

And the funny thing is, I don’t even like this frozen yogurt crap I’ve been eating. It has cherries in it, that’s always good. But they’re cheap maraschino and the chocolate tastes like crap. So why don’t I jut eat the real life cherries in my fridge if that is the interest to me? Why?

OK and work is bugging me again. It had been so great the previous few weeks. Last week my boss was on vacation and so it was just great. And the week before it was just as great because they were putting pressure on her and she was all kinds of vulnerable and super nice.  This week she is back and uptight and reflecting that on me. And I also hate that I have to rely on her for verification on big important decisions and facts. And she is usually wrong.  How are you 80% wrong when you work in a managerial position? Who do you sleep with to get there?  And why would you want to?

Maybe that was inappropriate. Maybe I should shut up and look for another job.  But job searching takes more time. And that bugs me too. Where is the time to do anything? Can you invent something that makes you need to sleep less? I would love to only have to sleep 5 hours every night. I could do all kinds of useless things during that extra time.

I just had to get that off my chest.  I don’t want to wake up grumpy. I want to wake pleased with myself and well rested. Maybe I just need new complaints. Or a new outlook. A microsoft outlook.  Another “Rachel laughs to herself joke.”

Ok tonight I will go to sleep very pleased and satisfied with myself.  Goal of the night.  And then I will wake up the same.  Goal of the morning.  Let’s see.

I don’t know what to say. I have lost all words necessary to say anything that I want to tell you. You should ask me questions and then I will give you the information.

But don’t ask too many questions because then you start to annoy me. And after a while my jaw gets tired from speaking. So ask me a few important questions.

My day? I just woke. There wasn’t much of a day to have already. I woke up 20 minutes ago having to pee. And then I went back to sleep until Dave called me to wake me up. And then I went back to sleep until the alarm went off 4 minutes later. And then I sat up. A little grouchy. A little sleepy. My face is a little oily since I haven’t washed it yet.

Why haven’t I washed my face yet? OK this is counting towards your question limit. But I wait to wash my face. I figure on holding off on my morning routine until I am done writing this. That’s an hour from now. Do I put moisturizer on when I am done? Yes, everywhere but the T-zone. Like the cheeks. And my soap is a moisturizing face wash. It’s a good one.

What am I doing today? Well I am writing this. And then I get ready for work, leave my house, get on the subway, read a book, stare off, drift off, watch the weirdos and then go to work. Today I process. I process things for the exciting world of Variable Annuities and VUniversal Lifes. And I talk a lot. On the phone and to my co-workers. But this is why I don’t feel like talking on the phone. It isn’t you. It’s people like Mr. Smith who are grouchy and Ms. Diaz who want their hand held through the whatever they call about. I am very nice, I just get tired of being nice in general. Then I go to the gym and go home and watch tv and don’t do the things I should be doing. Its a good cycle.
Do I like my job? In the general sense, not really. It isn’t useful, I deal with a lot of frustrating people on and off the phones, my boss kind of sucks at her job being a good boss, I am not learning anything anymore, I am not gaining any useful skills. But at the same time, I don’t have anything to complain about if I just need a job. It’s relatively easy, I get along really well with a lot of the people I work with and speak to on the phones. I get paid decently for what I am doing, its a great company, I learned a lot about investment and retirement savings, I laugh a lot due to the silly people I speak with, and I am very good at what I do. I didn’t get promoted, and that kind of stinks. Yeah, I was disapointed, how could you not be. But no one else in my training class went higher either. Like they did it on purpose. I guess that kind of thing bothers me. No explanations, no flexibilities. And, ok, this girl used to be on my team and she had this birthday thing. At the end of the month, she would go around collecting cash to celebrate the birthdays on the team and bring in cookies and candy the next day. She left the team and asked me to do the job. I don’t feel like doing it. But I said ok at the time. And now it was one of the manager’s birthdays last week. So I feel stupid doing it after the fact. I just didn’t feel like doing it then. And I hate asking people for cash. I could always just email it. Actually I think that is what I will do, maybe. Ugh. I hate this. I should have said no thank you. Maybe I can just not do it. No one knows I took on the job. It’ll be our secret.

Am I hungry? Thanks for changing the subject. Starving actually. Thinking about the cheerios and bananas I am going to eat. And a big glass of juice. It’s important to hydrate, you know? I am thirsty right now anyway. Maybe I should take a nap.

Do I think it’s a good idea? To nap? How could that not be. Ok I took a nap. You didn’t even notice. Did it help anything? Not really. I just want to cuddle back into bed for two hours. Yes, I know, if I went to bed early I can do that every day. But if I went to bed early, how would I decide to make a to-do list at 11:45pm and pay some bills at 12:30? It just wouldn’t do!

Am I ready to get ready for work now? I suppose. And yeah, I am in a better mood than when I started, so thanks for waking me up with the questions. Next time you tell me about how you are. Have a good day.

Leon’s is rumored to be what Happy Days was fashioned after. It is a frozen custard place on the side of road, with lots of traffic in and out. It is just a drive up place; you probably can get regular food there, but the ideal attraction is this custard. We walked straight up to the window and had 20 seconds to make a selection. They gave me one scoop of vanilla on a sugar cone, and I took a lick. It was like thick, heavy, cold vanilla butter. It had a very satisfying pull that ice cream doesn’t have, that just melts in your mouth. And then it melts in your mouth.

We ate the cones in the car and watched the activity in front of the store. Wisconsin’s cultural merge fascinates me. Leon’s was only 15 minutes outside the center of town, so it was mostly suburban. But close enough so the inner people hung out there too. From the car, I watched one group of girls with super short shorts flirt with tattooed/wife-beater wearing boys with missing teeth. And then there was another group of boys wearing super baggie jeans, long shirts and bandanas around their heads strutting to the custard counter.

We were on a tight schedule to see and do as much as possible in the next 2 hours before the game. So, I got a very succinct, brief tour of downtown Wisconsin. This time, I got to see the Marquette interchange construction project in daylight. There is a lot of renovation and redirection going on that could make you go down a one way street and then another day drive across 2 lanes of traffic to make a left hand turn.

The interchange led us to a very quaint downtown area with a lot of little stores and a tiny bridge over one of Lake Michigan’s tributaries (I think). We parked in a lot pretending like we were going to store that was just closing so we could get free parking. Then went to a spice shop. The shelves were lined with large bottles of spices: marinating spices, BBQ spices, Cajun spices, spicy spices, curries, garlics, sugars, maple sugars, cinnamons. I got to taste as many as I wanted. Melinda instructed me on pouring a tiny bit in hand and savor it. That would never fly in New York, so I felt a little dangerous. Just kidding. I tasted a lot of disgusting things. But then I had gingerized candy and that was just terrible. But, then I sampled these freeze-dried corn kernels and they were the best thing ever. So I bought a pack, in addition to one spice I bought as a gift.

From the spice shop we went back to Melinda’s place for her to change to fan gear- and to put the cheese in the refrigerator. And then it was time for the Brewer game!

Ceci used to be depressed when she was in high school. And she started to want “feel.” Feel human things, or just feel the world. Looking back, maybe she was a little kooky, but it taught her something.One weekend evening, home alone, she would turn off all the lights in the house. Turn off all computers, air conditioners, fans, tvs. And sit in the living room, on the floor. And she would listen to the silence. Never hearing real silence before, she just closed her eyes and let it take her wherever. And then a car alarm would sound and take away the quiet.

And at camp, Ceci would go into the pool, and want to feel the cold. Not just to cool off. But to feel hot first, notice sweat. Then put a leg in and notice the cold. Like an ice cube would form around her ankle. And then it would engulf anything else she put in.

Now grown up, she had to remind herself to feel. But easy to forget in the routine of work. Sitting in her house at 3:30am, awake. Still awake. But pleasant.
It’s a strange calm that comes over someone when no one else is a awake and there is nothing else really to do except sleep. Or nothing else that you should do. Reminded her of that feeling she used to have.
And then she was relaxed.

Since Melinda moved to Wisconsin and started having visitors, she told me about the Jelly Belly Jelly Bean factory that is near enough to visit. And since then, I had asked her to go and was very excited, even before planning a trip to Milwaukee. So I had been looking forward to this point in the trip since the start, and so when we walked up to the building and Melinda was like “Psssh, I did this already,” I laughed at her and thought, “I bet you could do this a million times,” in my kid-like state.

So the building is small, it has a big sign with its name, and a VW Bug outside decorated with Jelly Beans. And inside there was a line, and so we waited for the next tour. There were pictures on the wall all things to look at. And there was a creepy teenage boy that was eyeing my shirt (“Pirates Aaaare cool”), who kept smiling and winking at me. When the line moved forward, the tour guide gave us these really cool paper hats to wear, like we were going to be preparing food. And then we sat on this train that was situated within a huge storage facility setting.

Everyone had to buckle in and agree to keep his or her hands within the cars. And I was really excited. Wondered if we were going to go really fast through the preparation sections. This girl squeezed in next to me, garbed in JB food safe attire, with paperwork on leading tour guides. I felt proud I would participate her training.

But then I felt less proud. So, this tour that we were on was a tour of the distribution center, and NOT of a factory. I realized this when the train only circled around the boxes and shelves, while listening to a mousy girl with a high-pitched voice describe the process of production from actions viewed on large screen and small screen TVs. It was so boring; my eyelids were getting heavy. And I couldn’t complain to Melinda, because “I’ve done this so many times!!”

There were two interesting parts of this tour. One was the JB art, that they used the colors of the beans to create pictures. Pictures of their logos and of US Presidents. And the other interesting part was, at the end of the tour, they gave out free Jelly Bellies. And then you could shop in their store and have free samples.

I bought this huge page of hand-selected flavors of beans I might like. At the register, the bag came out to weighing 2.4 lbs. This was a lot of jelly beans. (Especially for someone who avoided eating them for about 10 years since she got sick from eating so many.)

Outside the store, Melinda forced me to pose like Jessica Simpson across the hood of the VW Bug while she took a picture. Luckily, I was short enough to look extraordinarily awkward while doing it, and the pictures duly came out this way.

Driving back to Milwaukee, we stopped the car mid-highway and took a picture of the “Bong Recreation Area.”

On the way to the center of town, we stopped at Leon’s.

Melinda was almost done with graduate school when I went to Wisconsin. She just had one last test to take and it was an oral exam. This exam was on the first morning that I was there. So after shipping out a nervous friend at 9:30am, I had time to take care of some things.

Since it would be Melinda’s birthday the next day, I brought crepe paper and balloons to decorate the apartment with. Never using crepe paper before, I quickly understood why I had never attempted to do this at some other time. It is the most annoying, disrespectful, and inflexible piece of paper I have ever met. Somehow, with a lot of tape, I maneuvered light purple and celadon strips of crepe all over her apartment. And then strung a “Happy Birthday” sign in her kitchen.  I tried to blow up balloons, but that just didn’t work. I gave up when I became light headed. I did not think my friend would appreciate a passed out guest when she came back.

As I was putting the finishing touches (ok, I was determined to crepe paper as much of the apartment as I could before Mel came back), Melinda called me from a block away. Not like she new to warn me to put the tape away, but to tell me excitedly that she passed!  Yay!

Melinda walked in apartment looking delighted and excited.  But it was 11:30- time to start sight seeing, so after excitement and details on the test were passed, we got ready to go out.

Our first stop was the mall.  It was a very quick drive to the mall. Now that it was daylight, I was imposed on the cuteness of downtown Milwaukee.  I decided it looked like a combination of Boston (for the small town, busy city roads and short skyline), Binghamton (for the old buildings) and Albany (for the small city stately feel).

The mall was big and modern, but it was also 30% empty.  And the stores that did fill it up were the most eclectic group ever allowed to cohabit a mall. It even had leather chairs giving massages for a few bucks in the middle of the pathways. I liked it. It had character.

The mall trip’s purpose was to find me a Brewer’s t-shirt to wear to the game that night.  No luck on it at the mall, but one cool thing I came across in a store named Brew City, was a t-shirt for “George Webb.”  This is a burger joint that will serve 5 hamburgers for $5 if the Brewer’s win a game.  Now that’s a lot of burgers to cook.  My attraction to it was the name. It was Dave’s grandfather’s name. I decided then to get a picture or some paraphernalia from the restaurant during the weekend.

Giving up on the t-shirt search, we headed to Kenosha (“What did you call me?”), which was almost a half hour drive away. The destination was Mars Cheese Castle.  I won’t tell you what it  is until we get there. But I will tell you what we saw on the way.  We passed one signed indicating “Bong Recreation Area Exit 340.” It was only a rest stop..  We also saw the Harley Davidson Headquarters, which is just a wide building with motorcycles out front.  I also saw some more funny town names. But the funniest place all together was the Mars Cheese castle.  Driving up to it, I took a picture of the outside. The huge sign above the store had flags above it, like it was a castle. But we also stopped across the street from at, the competition, and took a picture of a silly cheese van. A dummy sat in front with an American flag and American flag cheese (American cheese?). It was so silly, that I loved it.

We went inside Mars Cheese and it was like a cheese wonderland.  Not like a walmart, brightly lit wonderland land. It was like a large log cabin inside with a long counter of people cutting cheese and a large refrigerator holding lots of cheese and cheese signs and cheese pictures everywhere.

The best part of the place was the samples. You could taste anything you wanted.  I asked for chocolate cheese and smoked gouda.  Spicy cheese, Swiss cheese, cheddar, wholly cheese, crumbly cheese, stinky cheese, mild cheese, jumbo cheese, cocktail cheese…

I bought some souvenir cheeses and postcards that Melinda convinced me to buy. I have never been able to mail a single postcard in the last 5 years, mostly due to not having a stamp.  So I was carrying assorted cheeses, postcards and a mug I decided to buy, and decided to play with the cheese hats.  A manager followed me over with a basket to carry my items in.  He looked at me like a little kid who was going to mess up the store. But he made Melinda put on a cheese hat and take a picture with me. That made me forgive him.

I bought this weird space-ship candy at the checkout counter, that I regret now. It looked cool; it even looked like a Swiss candy in its yellow and blue European looking bag. When I opened it at home, it tasted like Styrofoam and powdered sugar.  I tried two and dumped it.

The next stop would be the Jelly Belly Jelly Bean factory in Pleasant Point, Wisconsin.