October 26, 2006
Sometimes I bore myself. I write something for like 20 minutes and I think why am I still writing this garbage? And then I keep writing. And then I finally get the urge to yell “Abandon ship!” And I do. Except there are certain people that want to read something today. So I have to write something today. So here is my something.
OK I was tempted to leave it at that. But I will give you a story. It is a true story of a girl. She had to go somewhere in a few minutes. But she didn’t know what to wear. So she stood still staring at her closet. Staring and pondering until it was almost time to leave and there was no time to stand still wondering what to wear.
She considered just walking out of the house in a towel. Or maybe jeans and a t-shirt. But the people at work wouldn’t appreciate neither. She selected a shirt at random. And then ran around the house brushing teeth and packing up her bag with her pj pants still on. Her father stared at her in her half business attire. “Aren’t you going to work?” Wasn’t she?
But finally she put on the pants she wore yesterday and ran out the door.
And that, is a true story. Out the door!
October 23, 2006
These are the things I would like to do if money, transportation, talent and people were not an issue:
- Write
- Dance
- Move to somewhere warm like California or Bermuda
- Get my feet massages every single day.
- Have a normal bed and not an Ikea sofa.
- Be relaxed and laid back all the time.
It’s funny, I just gave myself the freedom to choose anything I want. Anything without limits and I limited myself. I am stuck. Boundaries have been pounded into my head. And even though I say I love change, I am terrified of making moves. Because of those limitations. I wait for the most logical idea to get into my head somehow and then I do it. Logical idea that considers all the ideals I discounted all the way above. I moved with my parents so money would not be an issue. I moved to NY so I would be near people and not too far away from my loved one. I took a job in an industry that talent isn’t really an issue, but would still use one my abilities (customer service) to do something I do not enjoy.
The long of the short - I don’t need to listen to anyone’s opinions now. I don’t need to do my job anymore because I am not learning anything, I am not moving up and nothing is changing. Money is good, but why does it make sense to stay making average salary when it doesn’t make you happy? I do not need to do what I don’t want. I am going to look for what I do want.
October 10, 2006
Where do I want to be? Where am I going? Home? Where is home?
I can see home. And smell it. There is a comfortable couch with a cozy blanket, waiting to cuddle you in. It smells like scented candles burning, which soothe the dark. A kitchen to cook in. A bathroom to read in. A tub to lie in. A shower to think in. A bed to love in.
A window to look out of. A tv to ignore. A table to talk at. A counter to lean on and eat. A door to open. A door to close after welcoming.
A home to be in. A home to live in. A home to have you in.
October 7, 2006
It feels like a poem.
Let the wind pull you; let the flow pull you.
No inhibitions,
No restrictions,
No limits.
Swing, throw, drop.
Gyrate.
Free.
Throw me, and I let go.
Go. Going. Glowing.
Flying, gliding, glowing.
I slide,
and open my eyes.
I dance.
