December 18, 2006
I finally understand how you feel about the city now. Yesterday I spent all day looking for gifts for people. And I just felt like crying and going home halfway through. It probably didn’t help that I wasn’t successful during the first half of my day, not finding anything that I wanted and having to deal with crowds. But all I wanted was peace and space. And fresh air. I wanted the taxis to take people to Long Island. Or New Jersey. I wanted everyone to tiptoe around me and cover their mouths for 10 minutes before and after walking past me.
I thought about the mouth holding thing for a while. Its the most efficient way of, not only quiet, but bad breath and germs spread. And it would serve as a quiet reminder.
Internet shopping could have been a good alternate for me. But then they have their own stipulations. Pay $100 dollars and your order will be here in time for the holidays. Pay $0 and your order will arrive after December 25th. Guaranteed! Pay $6 and your order will arrive between 2-12 days, shipping will occur in 4-5 days, so your order will arrive after December 25th. Guaranteed!
Do you know what would help me? See if you can make this. A machine. You type into a computer console what you need. “White linen tablecloth with yellow and green butterflies, please.” Must be polite, must be specific. It will respond “doodoo-doo.” 25 minutes later, the back will open, spit out your table cloth and close up.
And its free. Well free for me, because I am the creator. But free after the initial purchase, a good investment. Let me know how it comes out.
December 5, 2006
It’s nice when you realize little thing that would be helpful in a situation and you have them ready when you need it. Like just now, I sat up, propped myself up with my computer in front of me (logically) and I thought, “Hey my mouth is dry, I am thirsty.” And then I reached down with my hand and found my water bottle there, full and waiting for me. Then I thought, “Ugh my hands are so dry, how am I going to type?” And then I reached down and there was my lotion, ready to be used. And now my hands are moisturized. I wonder…”Gee, I feel poor right now, how am I am going to spend all that money?” I reached down. And there was my wad of cash! Just kidding of course.
I am having a lot of trouble keeping my eyes open right now. They keep closing on me. And I keep drifting in and out of consiousness. I just had a quick dream in fact. But I have no idea what it was.
Do you think pinching yourself is something that awakens you? In college I used to take little naps, both voluntary and involuntary ones. The invols I used to have a fight with myself to stay awake. Pinch myself - that never worked, scratch my arms- that only soothed me more, Opened my eyes as wide as possible- that was laughable.Coffee or snacks didn’t help. The only small improvement that could have been made to fix it was to sleep more. Or of course, not go to the class. Logical, right?
In my narcoleptic state, I finally just got up and washed my face and did some deep knee bends. And I have to stay awake because I put on some hot water; so if I nap, I could have a flood of boiling water and what will happen? And I did just negiotiate myself a nap on the train if I can stay awake now. Which is a little scary to allow to happen. If I am tired enough, I go into one of those deep semi-consious sleeps where I can hear my heavy breathing and jerk awake in ten minute intervals as I stir. I am one of those who can sleep almost anywhere, even standing up, if I let myself. And I can also let myself sleep with my face, neck and shoulders fully postured. Though, I realize I must look very funny to the people who see me.
Must attend to my flooding tea.
I don’t really have anything to say today anymore. Except that I better go to work. Yay! (Small improvement to that: don’t go!)
December 3, 2006
He wakes up at 8:59 am sharp. Nudges Rita, “Rita, aren’t you getting up?”
“I know, I know, I’m going.”
He waits for her to finish using the bathroom, and runs in. Time for Earl’s shower. Ritual cleansing. Make sure you get the ears, the middle of the back, the scalp. Wash. Cold water. Hot water and wash again.
Dry off, Ammens powder body and bathroom. Wash hands and face and bathroom.
White t-shirt with white chest hair curling out over the top. And Khaki shorts. And Eddie Bauer flip flips with ammens powder on the bottom.
9:45, Earl sits down and pours himself a half of cup of cheerios. Layered on top is either shredded wheat or Kashi. He eats that. Then comes coffee that Rita brings out. He pours a little milk in, swirls it in the cup with a spoon making little tinking sounds.
Sunday morning is politics morning in the Zoof house. Over coffee it starts. Earl takes a sip, takes a cookie. Eats it. “Everybody is running, they must’ve called every single senator, governor, governor’s son, lawyer in the whole damn country.”
“Um-hm” Rita drinking her coffee, not looking up from her magazine. Eating a milano.
Second cup of coffee, “They kicked California’s governor out of office for an idiot. They should do that for the current idiot. They’re all idiots those politicians.” A few more cookies. He keeps speaking about the government and how their incompentent fools running it and everyone is a fool and Clinton was the best thing that happened to the country.
Earl finishes his coffee and brings the cup into the kitchen, with his dirty napkin and goes to sit down in front of the tv. Rita picks up his plate and cleans up the rest of the table.
For the next two hours Earl sits in his leather recliner, yells at the TV about political action as others debate logically in the TV studio. Rita sits at her computer and plays solitaire or word games mindlessly.
Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click, Click-click. “Click-click” syncopating with “He’s an idiot, get them out of Iraq, You McGraw don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re an idiot.”
Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click. Idiot. Click-click.
Sunday morning in the Zoof household.
