I’ve never been handicapped before. Except for when I joke and say I’m crippled by the shoes I’m wearing. And I used to think losing your voice was cool. A little sexy.
But as of yesterday, I realize how much I took for granted. The conversation, the singing in the shower, the “yes, I would like fries with that,” the “do you have any lemons”? I miss it all. I have so much to say, but I can’t say it!! It comes out as a poor little squeak. Like the joking yelling sounds when you immitate a stadium or concert. I am a hoarse.
Last evening I went to dinner with three of my friends. They all know me quite well enough in their own individual ways that someone had to understand me. But the charade loses its fun after a while. Its all fun and games until someone loses their voice.
Anyway, back to my handicap. I have done everything since I woke up this morning to change this blog title to “Stella got her voice back” But it didn’t work. I drank tea. I drank tea with honey. I drank tea with 2 spoonfuls of raspberry preserves and a slice of lemon that I let float, I gargled (or as my mom liked to type “I googled”) with salt water, I took a nap, I had vitamin C, cough medicine, cough drops, sudafed, hot shower and steamed, steamed, drank water, oj (peed until the fluid came out of my ears) . Its just not there!!!
Does this mean I get the handicap special seating on the busses and trains? No! Because I can’t ask for it!!
I feel like Rose from the titanic - come back. Come back. come backkkk.