Remember that Friends episode when Joey goes to an audition, but has to pee so badly? So when Joey gets there late, no one listens to him that he has to use the bathroom first, so he has to act in this squirmy, awkward, short-beat attitude that gets him the part. And they want him to act like that every time, so Joey stocks up on liquids every time he has rehearsal.
I thought of that because I started this post having to pee. Emergency. And of course I’d have let myself use the bathroom, IF I COULD HAVE. Someone was in there. Yes, I know, I could have knocked. But I didn’t want to make conversation. I just wanted to go. Yes, I know, all I had to do was say “excuse me, gotta go,” or even just “sqooze peez,” or “gotta go.” I didn’t even have to speak the whole word, just get the point across. But to open my mouth and say these things, is not as easy as it sounds. You just have to wake up in my mind, to get it, I guess.
And anyway, I thought it would better my writing, like for Joey. Ok, I know it didn’t really do anything special, but I was giving it a shot. Did I end up using the bathroom? Of course! The minute I heard the nose blow in the dining room, I shot out into the bathroom. Kidneys first!
That reminds me of something. Did you know there is a Environmentalist lobbying organization called Earth First! With an exclamation mark in the name? I took an envi law class in college; I loved that class. I loved the professor and the stories he told in class. The subject matter- not so much. But he was from Wisconsin, and had many silly tidbits about cheese, windmills, and the trouble he used to cause when he was a kid. And he would give interesting facts on environmental law, I guess. The best day was when we were going over lobbyist and actionary groups. It was a very boring class, especially when forced to sit up front (he actually placed a college class alpabetically). And then all the sudden he yells Earth First! And everyone jumps. He smiles innocently. Everyone tilts their head sideways in question. “What? That’s their name. Earth First!” Good memory!
Along the same lines: my anthropology course. This was a class that had great potential. It sounded interesting in theory (Buried Treasure, hidden dragon or something) and in description. The first day was awesome because we started out watching Indiana Jones. And then this professor (he is famous, I think), leaps in with Indiana Jones apparel on, carrying a knife and everyone gets excited. Oooh what are we doing this semester?! But the class turned out to be naptime. It was really boring. The subject matter was boring, the professor was boring and I was bored. I forgot my point. Oh! The introductory course before that, was not boring. This class taught about African tribes and their ways of like. Like the: Kung! Also an exclamation pointed word. But not yelled. It is not even pronounced kung, as in “rhymes with” hung or bung. The words must come from your throat in a clicking sound like this “Click-Kung” combined (”Rachel, what are you doing??). So that was cool. And we also learned about this semen belt in New Guinea. This tribe had a rite of passage ceremony turning boys into men (not so similar to the Bar Mitzvah, I have to say). The boys would drink semen of the older men and there would be some music and dancing and other activities, and voila “Click-Jim, today you have become a man.”
I am sure it was probably very different. And I don’t think they do it anymore. I think our New World people brought technology and literacy and burger king over there and they varied their ways.
So enough about me, how are you? Still want to know what I am thinking? I am tired and have to pee again. And I have to get ready for work! Work!