Work Work Work, I don’t mind work,

But I can’t think about it on the weeeekends.

Work Work Work, I don’t mind work,

But I can’t think about it on the weeeekends.

Monday, Tuesday, I can look at my computer

I can hit enter and and apply.

Wednesday and Thursday I sit at my desk

and sigh.

Friday I work hard, print print print.

But Saturday!

And Sunday!

I dance and prance, and sit in a trance.

I don’t have rants, and I visit with my aunts.

These are the days where my troubles are away,

I can sing all day, any words that I say.

But then Monday!

It starts all over as I work.

Work Work Work, I don’t mind work,

But I can’t think about it on the weeeekends.

Work Work Work, I don’t mind work,

But I can’t think about it on the weeeekends.

The trees over me were dark, a picturesque comparison to the Technicolor water of the reservoir. And I was ok.

You’re not supposed to understand what I am talking about. But listen to the song that I am listening to, and maybe just part of the melancholy happiness will be clear. Nuvole Bianche

And so, for the first time I am ready to be something that I am. As compared to who I am not.

Me, on the other hand, I watch these movies (like 27 dresses) with tears in my eyes, laughter out loud and a smile on my face. Does this mean I have dropped in my level of sophistication, as compared to my girlfriends?  They roll their eyes, I wipe mine. Have I become sappy?

Or a romantic?

Today didn’t start out as a good one.  I woke up and the maintenance people came. And we made a plan that I’d leave my bottom lock open when I left for work.  So they left and would come back later. I left and locked up.  Got into the subway and onto a train. One stop away, I was like Oh crap! I didn’t leave it unlocked!  I got off, walked home in tears (not really sure why).  Went into my apartment, ready to burst (I definitly locked it all up) and had a moment.  A “this day isn’t going to be very good” moment.  Sniffled.  Left, locked only the bottom lock and restarted my journey to work. And I was ready to cry all day.

Tuesday, tax tuesday, on the other hand will be a significantly better day.  Seven minutes into the new day, I can decide. Good night and good day.

But as of yesterday, I realize how much I took for granted. The conversation, the singing in the shower, the “yes, I would like fries with that,” the “do you have any lemons”?  I miss it all.  I have so much to say, but I can’t say it!! It comes out as a poor little squeak. Like the joking yelling sounds when you immitate a stadium or concert.    I am a hoarse.

Last evening I went to dinner with three of my friends. They all know me quite well enough in their own individual ways that someone had to understand me.  But the charade loses its fun after a while.  Its all fun and games until someone loses their voice.

Anyway, back to my handicap. I have done everything since I woke up this morning to change this blog title to “Stella got her voice back”  But it didn’t work.  I drank tea. I drank tea with honey. I drank tea with 2 spoonfuls of raspberry preserves and a slice of lemon that I let float, I gargled (or as my mom liked to type “I googled”) with salt water, I took a nap, I had vitamin C, cough medicine, cough drops, sudafed, hot shower and steamed, steamed, drank water, oj (peed until the fluid came out of my ears) .  Its just not there!!!

Does this mean I get the handicap special seating on the busses and trains? No!  Because I can’t ask for it!!

I feel like Rose from the titanic - come back.  Come back. come backkkk.

I used to know this guy who would go to visit his family in Japan and buy a few phones.  They would have that special chip so it’d work here. And they were such cool and easy to use phones.  With everything that you’d want it to do.

Just like that, why aren’t things made in the US anymore? Its not like we’re lacking space or anything. Right?  Maybe I need to do research on it, but whats the benefit in having someone else make everything?  People need the jobs to buy the items in the first place. And let’s sell them to someone else to have them buy it from us.  If we’re gong to be such a selfish and “selfless” country shouldn’t we be self sufficient somehow?

So today at work I threw a tantrum on technology.  I got sick of having my life made more difficult by a program I have to use.  So I decided this: I would like to live in a cave where technology is a just word we don’t talk about because it isn’t relevant. I might be happier.

Especially if I had good food and good company, good movies and books to read and watch.  And maybe good games to play so I’d have mental stimulation and challenges aside from building fires and keeping my things dry.  Oh! and decent monsters that I’d be able to chase away so my life would be exciting.

I have good plans I believe.

Anyway, so writing I am to do and it’s going to be on a computer and I am going to be involved in technology. So I have to get over it and/or suck it up.  But I still would like to take these programs out to a field and kick the crap out of them.  And that is my final offer.

And anyway part two, because it is so easy to not write, I am going to get myself kick started like to do when I run. I’ll say “Rachel, move your lazy ass”. It’s a good pep talk.  And similarly, like running, I am going to start small and build on it.  I used to train and force myself to just run one mile. Now I am forcing myself to write just for 1 minute. I mean - 10.  Ten solid minutes.

And alas, ten minutes are over. Goodnight.

Just felt like sharing.

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